[After the message he and Wriothesley sent, Lighter knew he'd be back to his normal role soon. That suited him just fine, though he didn't mind helping out at all. Once in a while, he could handle that.
He did not, however, expect Maxima to come right back to his post a day after four days of different work. Without even the comfort of his own space to come back to. He must still be exhausted.
And given what Lighter saw with a very long and very deliberate head to toe scan complete with slightly lowered sunglasses...
Well, he could answer the question given properly but instead.]
[Maxima blinked once, taken aback, his expression still unchanging. That was...unnecessarily aggressive? Had he done something wrong?
Lighter hadn't even been on the island. How was this relationship also causing him friction, now? Finally, his brow furrowed, a frown darkening his face.]
I don't think that's an answer to what I asked.
[If they need to have a confrontation, then fine. He's had enough of those over the past few days, what's one more?]
[His tone wasn't hostile at all. If anything, there was a tinge of worry to it. Sure, Maxima had "workaholic" written all over him but that had to come to a stop in moments where he looked this bad.]
Seriously, man, you look awful. I can handle the post for another couple of days, you know.
[The slight shift in tone let him relax a little bit. Lighter wasn't angry with him, he was just...trying to help. He's too on-edge after four days of people snapping over every little thing, that's all.]
I appreciate the thought, but there's no need. I'm more than capable of handling my usual workload.
[If he doesn't get back to work, he's going to have to think about what happened back there.]
[Lighter was sitting at the desk to start, but he's opted to stand to make his point. He wasn't angry at all, but he did cross his arms while raising an eyebrow at Maxima.]
Your posture's normally good for such a tall guy but today you came in like a zombie dragging your feet. You've been away from your space for four days to boot. Trying to catch up as you are now's just gonna be a bust.
[The moment he was called out on it, Maxima straightened his posture, made an effort to focus himself more completely. He knew on some level that Lighter was right, that he wasn't at his best, but he'd still been through worse. He wasn't budging from the position he'd chosen, either, even as Lighter got up to face him.]
...I have to start somewhere. The sooner things can get back to normal, the better.
[He just wants things to be normal again. Just in one way. So much is going to be different from now on, he needs at least one thing to be normal.]
[There was a fair amount of height between the two of them. Even so, Lighter got up real close, now looking like he was getting frustrated. Without any power being used, Lighter had a presence about him. An aura that commanded if not respect then at least awe, at least attention.
That of an officer. A leader. It came out during July with that board game, but here Maxima was staring it straight in the eyes.]
I'm gonna make myself real clear. You aren't fit to work right now. And if you keep trying to I'll carry you back myself.
[If Maxima keeps being stubborn, this is going to escalate to a physical confrontation. One that he'd be hard-pressed to win even if he was at his best, and as Lighter has amply pointed out, he is very much not. So either he backs down here, or he accepts a humiliating defeat in a few moments' time.
He sighs, shoulders sagging again.]
...If I promise to go back and rest afterward, will you at least fill me in on what you've been doing these last few days?
[At least then he'll have something else to think about besides how badly he's fucked up some of his friendships.]
[Lighter didn't really want to have to carry the poor guy back. It'd really break the low key thing they've got going on (as if that ship hasn't sailed ages ago). So, Lighter backed off, walking seemingly randomly around the office as he spoke.]
Jobs came in pretty slow. It's only been a couple days, so a fetch quest here, a parent in need there.
[He hovered a little near the exit door.]
A weird guy came in the other day with a hand written report. Coastline's gonna be a bit rough for the next few weeks. I put what he wrote aside, it's in that purple folder there.
[Said gesturing towards the desk at said purple folder. Once that was shared, though, Lighter locked the office door. People knew not to come in when it was locked or assumed Maxima was out. So, they could speak.]
[He nods at the explanations. Nothing unexpected. A little disappointing that he missed Flins' visit, but the man will be back next month like clockwork.
The locking of the door makes him tense up again in a way he can't quite explain.]
It was...I don't know that I can explain all of it.
[Now that he's given in to the inevitability of not being able to lose himself in work, the facade he's trying to put up is crumbling more and more by the moment, the distress starting to come through on his features. He can't do this in his work space, if he's going to fall apart he needs to at least be back in his room.]
[He wasn't expecting the arm around his waist, but he doesn't have the willpower to do anything but lean into the touch, even knowing that the moment they walk out of the office door they'll be visible to everyone. It's not like they're a secret, especially now.
Lighter knows the way, so he just stays focused on putting one foot in front of the other until they're back in his room. And then...then they're here, safe, with the door closed, and he still doesn't know what to say. He sits on the edge of the bed, hunched over with exhaustion, as he tries to put words together.]
We were responding to the distress call from Zodiac. People who went to a festival and vanished. It was there when we found it. A carnival in the middle of the jungle, run by a man called Baron Omatsuri.
[They know they're just friends here. They'll clear up whatever misunderstandings arise, it's fine. Lighter sat right next to him on the bed, patiently waiting for him to recall his experience on this mission. Even removing his shades to Maxima knew full attention was being given.
A carnival in the middle of a jungle, huh? Well, he's had enough of jungles for one lifetime...]
I'm gonna take a shot in the dark: that carnival wasn't all it was cracked up to be and the guy running it was even worse.
[Lighter's tone was grave. Despite his words being more casual, he knew it must be heavier than that.]
[He just nodded. Thinking back, there's a lot that doesn't quite make sense about how things played out. There's only one explanation.]
I think...from the moment we approached it, we started falling under his control. We lost track of why we were there and fell into playing the games instead. But...
[He'd been so easily irritated, over such small things. He'd been petty with Rose, of all people. He's supposed to be better than that.]
Everyone began to bicker with one another over minor things. Tensions rising, friction and irritation between even close friends...and it only grew worse after the first body was found. Over the following days, everyone was at one another's throats, some of them seemed to be seeing things that weren't there, and anyone who wandered too far from the group never returned.
Eventually...we were able to confront Omatsuri and kill him. When it was all over, those who had been killed were returned to us, and the gate opened again to allow us to come home.
[As miserable as all of this sounds, it doesn't really explain why Maxima can't raise his head now.]
[Again, Lighter listened intently. His brow furrowed at knowing that friends of his were manipulated by this Baron Omatsuri, it made him angry. But then Maxima mentioned the first body that was found. He couldn't help but voice shock.]
Jesus Christ...
[Lighter was... no stranger to coming upon bodies. Even when his old band was still alive, they'd find bodies a lot. In the places he lived, he'd find bodies a lot. It never stopped being a shock to the system. For that to happen with someone known? For that to raise the possibility that the missing people may have been dead?
But he kept listening, worry and anger painting his expression even more. A tinge of regret that he wasn't there to help them. That he wasn't there to...
He wasn't foolish enough to think he'd be immune to whatever affected them, though. Even with the Big Guy's protection.
He definitely wasn't about to question how they all came back as a man who cheated death himself. He was glad they did, even if they'd need help. They had their families to help them, their friends, their homes. And so did Maxima. He had a friend by his side right here and now.]
Are you? No, I know you're not alright. 'Could see that the second you walked into the office... [He shook his head, putting a hand on Maxima's shoulder.] How're you feeling? After all of that, you can't seriously think you'd be able to work at all.
[How is he feeling? The hand on his shoulder is simultaneously comforting and insistent.
How is he feeling?
Is that all that happened?]
I found the bodies of two friends myself. Zulius and Rose... I learned that Rose's soul was captured inside of a gem she's been wearing, and I don't know why. I... [His voice fails, and he has to swallow once to continue speaking.] I think I may have ruined one of my closest friendships in this city, in the name of keeping him alive to see the end.
... I'm sorry. Even if they came back... the sight of what your friends look like dead isn't something that just disappears overnight.
[Lighter did speak from experience. In his gut, a familiar pain roiled. The thread of a thought, of a curious concern. For two others in particular who he's not seen around...
Later. That's for later. Because while this conversation started with Lighter dodging a question... he's noticing that that seems to be Maxima's favorite thing to do (14). For now, a gentle hand. See how much he'll reveal on his own.]
Because I gave him orders. He's...a man from the same world as I am, but he was... [A slight shudder runs through his body, barely perceptible if Lighter wasn't touching him.]
He was a conscript of the Empire's military. As a former officer, I...knew that if I ordered him, he would obey me. So I did. For his own good, I...
[He's fighting to keep his composure, but he manages to steady his voice against all odds (20).]
I commanded him, and brought him to heel. I kept him at my side under orders until it was safe to return him home to his beloved.
After doing that to him, I'll be lucky if he ever wants to look me in the eye again.
[Even with his voice steadied, he sounds lost and broken.]
[Perceptible it was, though, and at that shudder Lighter tightened his grip on Maxima's shoulder.
And there it still stayed. Even after Maxima revealed why he felt he irreparably damaged a friendship. It stayed, but it'd be a lie to say it didn't loosen. He knew Maxima was of high standing in his home world, a person people relied on and looked to for guidance before... whatever happened to it. It just added up: he was a Military officer. All in all that was one section of the puzzle solved.
And he had to pull that rank against someone who didn't want to be part of his Imperial Army in the first place. Probably remind him about that time. The side of Lighter that valued freedom of choice did feel angry. But not at Maxima. Just at the circumstances.
Lighter was quiet for a while, letting the information sink in before taking a deep but quiet breath. What he wouldn't give to smoke, not that it would change what he thought.]
Why would you ever wanna remind a friend about a time they fought for something they didn't wanna believe in?
[Lighter was sort of an "officer" before. Places he's been followed their own codes and their own hierarchy. He only knew the periphery, he just hoped it'd help some.]
But if you didn't, he would have died right? Sometimes it's cruel to be kind and it's kind to be cruel. You understand him and what it would take to make sure he got home.
You're still... scared of how he'll look at you, though.
["Scared" is said deliberately. It was a way to feel and it could lead into many other things.]
Is he? Is that what this is? ...Has he spent so many years pushing aside his own emotions that he can't even identify them?]
I...yes. I'm afraid I've lost him. That I...hurt him so badly he'll want nothing to do with me from now on.
[He's afraid. It hurts. There's a lump in his throat and a burning in his eyes that he can't push away anymore. He runs a hand up under his glasses, brushing at his eyes, and his fingers come away damp.]
[And if Maxima's friend did... nothing could be done about it. He'd be well within his right to resent Maxima and never want to speak with him again. To pull what Lighter assumed was a trauma response to save him was kind cruelty. But it was cruelty nevertheless.
So, Lighter had no real words of advice or comfort to offer him. Just a hand on his shoulder that went slack as soon as the man mentioned the situation. But never left for some reason.]
You're both gonna need space for a little while. [When they're ready they can confront it. It didn't have to be any time soon, but if either of them wanted this friendship to continue they'd need to talk it out. And Lighter can only lead Maxima to water, not make him or his friend drink.]
Why are you apologizing to me? [He sounded genuinely confused.]
[At least for a moment, he's beyond words. All he can do is shake his head, and pull his glasses off to set them aside, and bury his face in his hands as he tries desperately to get his emotions under control once again. To stop the tears that will no longer be denied and steady the trembling in his shoulders.]
I shouldn't... I'm sorry...
[Every time he tries to speak more than a few words, his voice breaks again, forcing him to stop. He's finally reached some sort of limit on how much he can take.]
[It hurt. It hurt Lighter to see anyone this broken. All of this happened within a couple of days to Maxima. And he still tried to pretend he was fine to work. Lighter ought to take duties over for another week just to be sure Maxima was up for it.
Between what it took to keep his friend alive and being one of very few other survivors here... of course the guy would break. He's been overdue for one, it feels like.
So, Lighter just pulled him in for a hug, moving the hand on his shoulder to the opposite one and bringing him in close.]
[The permission is all he needs. He embraces Lighter back, pulls him close like an anchor in a storm, and crumbles into soft, half-choked sobbing. All the grief, misery, disappointment, and frustration pour out of him as he holds onto perhaps the only person he can still trust to keep him steady until it's over.
Eventually the waves of emotion loosen their grip enough for him to get his breath, and he raises his head, pulls back despite a lingering tremor that shows his reluctance.]
Thank you. I'm not...usually...prone to such...dramatics. I suppose everything weighed on me more than I realized.
[Lighter didn't pull back until Maxima did. He didn't have much to offer except a shoulder to cry on, but that suited him fine in this moment. Lighter didn't have to do much but hold his friend.
In doing so he felt more guilt creep up. The constant what if's that nagged at his heart.
Idly, he made a mental note to... to check on Hugo and Lycaon later...
When Maxima pulled away, Lighter's expression was a bit hard to nail down. Obviously he was still worried about Maxima, studying the man's mannerisms and body language. Seeing if anything else needed to be done. He counted on Maxima to say so.]
Don't mention it. Everyone's got a breaking point. It's gonna hit harder when you pretend it doesn't exist.
[...]
It'll be worth talking to your friend later on. You did what you had to do, if you explain that he'd understand.
[Lighter hoped anyway. Sure he also lacked some crucial information, but.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
He did not, however, expect Maxima to come right back to his post a day after four days of different work. Without even the comfort of his own space to come back to. He must still be exhausted.
And given what Lighter saw with a very long and very deliberate head to toe scan complete with slightly lowered sunglasses...
Well, he could answer the question given properly but instead.]
... You look like shit.
no subject
Lighter hadn't even been on the island. How was this relationship also causing him friction, now? Finally, his brow furrowed, a frown darkening his face.]
I don't think that's an answer to what I asked.
[If they need to have a confrontation, then fine. He's had enough of those over the past few days, what's one more?]
no subject
Sure ain't.
[His tone wasn't hostile at all. If anything, there was a tinge of worry to it. Sure, Maxima had "workaholic" written all over him but that had to come to a stop in moments where he looked this bad.]
Seriously, man, you look awful. I can handle the post for another couple of days, you know.
no subject
I appreciate the thought, but there's no need. I'm more than capable of handling my usual workload.
[If he doesn't get back to work, he's going to have to think about what happened back there.]
no subject
[Lighter was sitting at the desk to start, but he's opted to stand to make his point. He wasn't angry at all, but he did cross his arms while raising an eyebrow at Maxima.]
Your posture's normally good for such a tall guy but today you came in like a zombie dragging your feet. You've been away from your space for four days to boot. Trying to catch up as you are now's just gonna be a bust.
no subject
...I have to start somewhere. The sooner things can get back to normal, the better.
[He just wants things to be normal again. Just in one way. So much is going to be different from now on, he needs at least one thing to be normal.]
no subject
That of an officer. A leader. It came out during July with that board game, but here Maxima was staring it straight in the eyes.]
I'm gonna make myself real clear. You aren't fit to work right now. And if you keep trying to I'll carry you back myself.
[Is Maxima willing to test that hypothesis?]
no subject
He sighs, shoulders sagging again.]
...If I promise to go back and rest afterward, will you at least fill me in on what you've been doing these last few days?
[At least then he'll have something else to think about besides how badly he's fucked up some of his friendships.]
no subject
[Lighter didn't really want to have to carry the poor guy back. It'd really break the low key thing they've got going on (as if that ship hasn't sailed ages ago). So, Lighter backed off, walking seemingly randomly around the office as he spoke.]
Jobs came in pretty slow. It's only been a couple days, so a fetch quest here, a parent in need there.
[He hovered a little near the exit door.]
A weird guy came in the other day with a hand written report. Coastline's gonna be a bit rough for the next few weeks. I put what he wrote aside, it's in that purple folder there.
[Said gesturing towards the desk at said purple folder. Once that was shared, though, Lighter locked the office door. People knew not to come in when it was locked or assumed Maxima was out. So, they could speak.]
... What happened, Maxima?
no subject
The locking of the door makes him tense up again in a way he can't quite explain.]
It was...I don't know that I can explain all of it.
[Now that he's given in to the inevitability of not being able to lose himself in work, the facade he's trying to put up is crumbling more and more by the moment, the distress starting to come through on his features. He can't do this in his work space, if he's going to fall apart he needs to at least be back in his room.]
Not here. Not like this.
no subject
Welp. [And wrapped an arm right around his waist, pulling him along to the door he unlocked and walking right out of the office with Maxima in tow.]
Time for you to hold up your end of the bargain, then. Vamos, flaco. I know the way by now.
no subject
Lighter knows the way, so he just stays focused on putting one foot in front of the other until they're back in his room. And then...then they're here, safe, with the door closed, and he still doesn't know what to say. He sits on the edge of the bed, hunched over with exhaustion, as he tries to put words together.]
We were responding to the distress call from Zodiac. People who went to a festival and vanished. It was there when we found it. A carnival in the middle of the jungle, run by a man called Baron Omatsuri.
no subject
A carnival in the middle of a jungle, huh? Well, he's had enough of jungles for one lifetime...]
I'm gonna take a shot in the dark: that carnival wasn't all it was cracked up to be and the guy running it was even worse.
[Lighter's tone was grave. Despite his words being more casual, he knew it must be heavier than that.]
no subject
I think...from the moment we approached it, we started falling under his control. We lost track of why we were there and fell into playing the games instead. But...
[He'd been so easily irritated, over such small things. He'd been petty with Rose, of all people. He's supposed to be better than that.]
Everyone began to bicker with one another over minor things. Tensions rising, friction and irritation between even close friends...and it only grew worse after the first body was found. Over the following days, everyone was at one another's throats, some of them seemed to be seeing things that weren't there, and anyone who wandered too far from the group never returned.
Eventually...we were able to confront Omatsuri and kill him. When it was all over, those who had been killed were returned to us, and the gate opened again to allow us to come home.
[As miserable as all of this sounds, it doesn't really explain why Maxima can't raise his head now.]
no subject
Jesus Christ...
[Lighter was... no stranger to coming upon bodies. Even when his old band was still alive, they'd find bodies a lot. In the places he lived, he'd find bodies a lot. It never stopped being a shock to the system. For that to happen with someone known? For that to raise the possibility that the missing people may have been dead?
But he kept listening, worry and anger painting his expression even more. A tinge of regret that he wasn't there to help them. That he wasn't there to...
He wasn't foolish enough to think he'd be immune to whatever affected them, though. Even with the Big Guy's protection.
He definitely wasn't about to question how they all came back as a man who cheated death himself. He was glad they did, even if they'd need help. They had their families to help them, their friends, their homes. And so did Maxima. He had a friend by his side right here and now.]
Are you? No, I know you're not alright. 'Could see that the second you walked into the office... [He shook his head, putting a hand on Maxima's shoulder.] How're you feeling? After all of that, you can't seriously think you'd be able to work at all.
[... (10)]
Is that all that happened?
no subject
How is he feeling?
Is that all that happened?]
I found the bodies of two friends myself. Zulius and Rose... I learned that Rose's soul was captured inside of a gem she's been wearing, and I don't know why. I... [His voice fails, and he has to swallow once to continue speaking.] I think I may have ruined one of my closest friendships in this city, in the name of keeping him alive to see the end.
[He closes his eyes, leans into Lighter's hand.]
...I don't know what to do about it.
no subject
[Lighter did speak from experience. In his gut, a familiar pain roiled. The thread of a thought, of a curious concern. For two others in particular who he's not seen around...
Later. That's for later. Because while this conversation started with Lighter dodging a question... he's noticing that that seems to be Maxima's favorite thing to do (14). For now, a gentle hand. See how much he'll reveal on his own.]
Why do you think that? What happened?
no subject
He was a conscript of the Empire's military. As a former officer, I...knew that if I ordered him, he would obey me. So I did. For his own good, I...
[He's fighting to keep his composure, but he manages to steady his voice against all odds (20).]
I commanded him, and brought him to heel. I kept him at my side under orders until it was safe to return him home to his beloved.
After doing that to him, I'll be lucky if he ever wants to look me in the eye again.
[Even with his voice steadied, he sounds lost and broken.]
no subject
And there it still stayed. Even after Maxima revealed why he felt he irreparably damaged a friendship. It stayed, but it'd be a lie to say it didn't loosen. He knew Maxima was of high standing in his home world, a person people relied on and looked to for guidance before... whatever happened to it. It just added up: he was a Military officer. All in all that was one section of the puzzle solved.
And he had to pull that rank against someone who didn't want to be part of his Imperial Army in the first place. Probably remind him about that time. The side of Lighter that valued freedom of choice did feel angry. But not at Maxima. Just at the circumstances.
Lighter was quiet for a while, letting the information sink in before taking a deep but quiet breath. What he wouldn't give to smoke, not that it would change what he thought.]
Why would you ever wanna remind a friend about a time they fought for something they didn't wanna believe in?
[Lighter was sort of an "officer" before. Places he's been followed their own codes and their own hierarchy. He only knew the periphery, he just hoped it'd help some.]
But if you didn't, he would have died right? Sometimes it's cruel to be kind and it's kind to be cruel. You understand him and what it would take to make sure he got home.
You're still... scared of how he'll look at you, though.
["Scared" is said deliberately. It was a way to feel and it could lead into many other things.]
no subject
Is he? Is that what this is? ...Has he spent so many years pushing aside his own emotions that he can't even identify them?]
I...yes. I'm afraid I've lost him. That I...hurt him so badly he'll want nothing to do with me from now on.
[He's afraid. It hurts. There's a lump in his throat and a burning in his eyes that he can't push away anymore. He runs a hand up under his glasses, brushing at his eyes, and his fingers come away damp.]
I'm sorry...I...
no subject
So, Lighter had no real words of advice or comfort to offer him. Just a hand on his shoulder that went slack as soon as the man mentioned the situation. But never left for some reason.]
You're both gonna need space for a little while. [When they're ready they can confront it. It didn't have to be any time soon, but if either of them wanted this friendship to continue they'd need to talk it out. And Lighter can only lead Maxima to water, not make him or his friend drink.]
Why are you apologizing to me? [He sounded genuinely confused.]
no subject
I shouldn't... I'm sorry...
[Every time he tries to speak more than a few words, his voice breaks again, forcing him to stop. He's finally reached some sort of limit on how much he can take.]
no subject
Between what it took to keep his friend alive and being one of very few other survivors here... of course the guy would break. He's been overdue for one, it feels like.
So, Lighter just pulled him in for a hug, moving the hand on his shoulder to the opposite one and bringing him in close.]
Don't worry about it. Just let it out.
no subject
Eventually the waves of emotion loosen their grip enough for him to get his breath, and he raises his head, pulls back despite a lingering tremor that shows his reluctance.]
Thank you. I'm not...usually...prone to such...dramatics. I suppose everything weighed on me more than I realized.
no subject
In doing so he felt more guilt creep up. The constant what if's that nagged at his heart.
Idly, he made a mental note to... to check on Hugo and Lycaon later...
When Maxima pulled away, Lighter's expression was a bit hard to nail down. Obviously he was still worried about Maxima, studying the man's mannerisms and body language. Seeing if anything else needed to be done. He counted on Maxima to say so.]
Don't mention it. Everyone's got a breaking point. It's gonna hit harder when you pretend it doesn't exist.
[...]
It'll be worth talking to your friend later on. You did what you had to do, if you explain that he'd understand.
[Lighter hoped anyway. Sure he also lacked some crucial information, but.]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
cw mentions of gang activity and rascism
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)