[God knows you have to watch your step in the desert or else you graze a snake or cactus. One god knew how many of those pricks and bites were clouding Lighter's emotional state lately. Jun texting that he's out of the hospital helped with the proverbial landscaping, at least.
For now he was relieved. Let's see how long that will last knowing what Jun is texting about.]
That's good to hear. You can finally get a proper rest after all of that. They put a cast on me, but it'll heal up quicker than the doctors think.
That's alright, this will probably be easier over text.
To put it simply: I'm aware you took issue with me saving your life. Your lecture and your behavior after that told me as such.
Which... I'll admit, I'm more human than anything. As such, I make mistakes, and I can take criticism.
But. It was thanks to my Patron's power that I was able to do what I did. Moving across the room at such speed, and being able to survive the bullet- both of those were thanks to my Patron. None of it would've been possible if my Patron didn't agree to it.
So by disputing what I did, you are disputing what my Patron wanted. And that's where I take issue.
There's a long, long delay. Admittedly Lighter's knee-jerk reaction was getting angry the longer he read this text. But not only was that immature, Lighter knew the Patron Jun was referring to. It wasn't rocket science.
But there was so much Jun did not understand about how he felt. And it wasn't anything he was willing to put on the kid. Or anyone. It was his fucking business...
It was his business to wonder why God kept giving him second chances and not people who deserved it more.]
It's not that I didn't appreciate you saving my life. I owe you for that. I wanna thank you for that.
["I just think it's been overdue. I just think you and the others should have avoided being hurt."]
That's not what I took issue with. Even if you're able to survive something like that, you shouldn't have gotten hurt in the first place. The circumstances were what they were [because of me] and I know that we were all in a lose-lose situation.
I took issue with you getting hurt just like anyone would when their friends are hurt.
I'm not against your Patron's wishes. When I am, I go to the right place for it.
[He usually only went to church maybe once a month. He's been there twice since the Jumanji incident.]
[Bullshit, Jun finds himself thinking as he reads through Lighter appreciating what he did, but he'll pause and collect himself. ]
Lighter... I'm not a child anymore. I've been in dangerous situations for a long time now, and I've been hurt worse than this. It's just part of what I am.
I choose to do what I did because I want you to live. And my Patron agreed with that wish.
And if I can help it? I'll keep following that want... even if it's selfish.
[Lighter was grateful for anything done for him, that much was true. Even if he had a preference of letting what was meant to be be, even if that's... well.]
You're right. You've grown up like crazy since I saw you years ago. Treating you the same as I did back then's pretty disrespectful of me. I'm sorry. For that and for getting on you about what you did.
You're a good person, Jun. I'm thankful that you want me to live.
[He truly meant that despite feeling frustrated as hell right now. Jun didn't know the whole story about him, but that was Lighter's fault. How's a guy going to understand something if he's not willing to fess up about it?]
Well, it has been what? 8 or 9 years? Plus admittedly, I was going through stuff I didn't mention back then at the time -- so of course I've changed a lot.
[Jun doesn't know Lighter's past, not really. But Haru mentioned that he had the eyes of someone with survivor's guilt... so he carefully lays that bait out there, seeing if he gets a bite]
But I appreciate the apology. Truly. And I think you're a good person too.
[... He did. And that hurt even more. No one should have to feel this crushing guilt. See the faces of people who should be alive if they close their eyes for too long. It was bad enough Lighter felt this.
But unfortunately, it tracked didn't it? Why else would Jun have been so reclusive and avoidant when he was younger? Something happened, something that wasn't Lighter's business, that made him that way.
It wasn't a good place right now to get into any of that. Let Lighter's very long delay in response be its own answer.]
That's real nice of you to say. Has me smiling like a real goof right now.
Go on and get some rest. I'll do the same. I still wanna check in on you guys when I've got the all clear myself. I'll bring something along to liven up the atmosphere again.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
For now he was relieved. Let's see how long that will last knowing what Jun is texting about.]
That's good to hear. You can finally get a proper rest after all of that. They put a cast on me, but it'll heal up quicker than the doctors think.
no subject
[Jun guesses it will be, due to the possession, but he's not going to voice that.]
And I plan to get proper rest, but before I can get that, there's something that's been bothering me that I want to speak to you about. Do you mind?
no subject
[In other words: yes it is due to the possession.
The smarter part of him was worried about what Jun might want to talk about. That part of him is extremely quiet most of the time, alas for him.]
Not at all, shoot.
[...hm, word choice.]
Or uh go for it. My space is always open for you if it's one of those things that's easier in person too.
no subject
That's alright, this will probably be easier over text.
To put it simply: I'm aware you took issue with me saving your life. Your lecture and your behavior after that told me as such.
Which... I'll admit, I'm more human than anything. As such, I make mistakes, and I can take criticism.
But. It was thanks to my Patron's power that I was able to do what I did. Moving across the room at such speed, and being able to survive the bullet- both of those were thanks to my Patron. None of it would've been possible if my Patron didn't agree to it.
So by disputing what I did, you are disputing what my Patron wanted. And that's where I take issue.
no subject
There's a long, long delay. Admittedly Lighter's knee-jerk reaction was getting angry the longer he read this text. But not only was that immature, Lighter knew the Patron Jun was referring to. It wasn't rocket science.
But there was so much Jun did not understand about how he felt. And it wasn't anything he was willing to put on the kid. Or anyone. It was his fucking business...
It was his business to wonder why God kept giving him second chances and not people who deserved it more.]
It's not that I didn't appreciate you saving my life. I owe you for that. I wanna thank you for that.
["I just think it's been overdue. I just think you and the others should have avoided being hurt."]
That's not what I took issue with. Even if you're able to survive something like that, you shouldn't have gotten hurt in the first place. The circumstances were what they were [because of me] and I know that we were all in a lose-lose situation.
I took issue with you getting hurt just like anyone would when their friends are hurt.
I'm not against your Patron's wishes. When I am, I go to the right place for it.
[He usually only went to church maybe once a month. He's been there twice since the Jumanji incident.]
no subject
Lighter... I'm not a child anymore. I've been in dangerous situations for a long time now, and I've been hurt worse than this. It's just part of what I am.
I choose to do what I did because I want you to live. And my Patron agreed with that wish.
And if I can help it? I'll keep following that want... even if it's selfish.
no subject
You're right. You've grown up like crazy since I saw you years ago. Treating you the same as I did back then's pretty disrespectful of me. I'm sorry. For that and for getting on you about what you did.
You're a good person, Jun. I'm thankful that you want me to live.
[He truly meant that despite feeling frustrated as hell right now. Jun didn't know the whole story about him, but that was Lighter's fault. How's a guy going to understand something if he's not willing to fess up about it?]
no subject
[Jun doesn't know Lighter's past, not really. But Haru mentioned that he had the eyes of someone with survivor's guilt... so he carefully lays that bait out there, seeing if he gets a bite]
But I appreciate the apology. Truly. And I think you're a good person too.
no subject
But unfortunately, it tracked didn't it? Why else would Jun have been so reclusive and avoidant when he was younger? Something happened, something that wasn't Lighter's business, that made him that way.
It wasn't a good place right now to get into any of that. Let Lighter's very long delay in response be its own answer.]
That's real nice of you to say. Has me smiling like a real goof right now.
Go on and get some rest. I'll do the same. I still wanna check in on you guys when I've got the all clear myself. I'll bring something along to liven up the atmosphere again.
no subject
Alright. I'll look forward to that. I'm sure the others will be happy to see you too.
Rest well, Lighter. I'll be sure to do the same.