[Everyone has been... of course they have. Even if they weren't worried, they were rightfully angry with him. He made so many promises. To Harumasa, to Mockingbird...
to Belle.
Only for a moment of fear to completely cloud his judgment.
Part of him was glad, though. That Maxima admitted that he, personally, was upset and scared. That Maxima thought he had done something wrong or thought Lighter would just throw it all away like that. It made his response come out so abruptly it was borderline defensive.]
No... Masi, no that's not... [The nickname slipped out. And Lighter was aware of it this time. But he would roll with it for now and ask in a moment if the man even wanted to be called that. Nevertheless, a weak hand came to his cheek.]
It wasn't you. You didn't do anything that'd make me want to throw you to the wind. I...
[His feeling for Maxima were a factor of sorts. But it was nothing Maxima himself did, or anyone else. He dropped his hand, pausing to try and find the right words.]
I told you, right? About what happened to my parents when I was a kid?
[He's going somewhere with this, but he had to be reminded of what Maxima knew.]
[The impact of the nickname was immediately visible in the way his eyes widened slightly, his cheeks flushed, the way he leaned into Lighter's hand on his face without hesitation. No one had given him a nickname like that since he was young.
He hadn't allowed himself to be close enough to people for nicknames in far too long.
But hearing the reassurance did settle something down inside him, as did the promise of some kind of explanation for why Lighter had run so abruptly. He nodded, listening solemnly.]
You mentioned they were killed in some sort of violent confrontation, and that you'd been raised as a foster child afterward.
[Not that he entirely understood what the latter part of that implied, in this world.]
[He's remembering now. And hesitating because of it. Lighter was laid back by nature but also incredibly closed off. Not necessarily setting himself on a pedestal like "the champion" but nevertheless keeping himself at a distance from others. He's kept that up and... it led him to run.
It led him to run and everyone to worry about him.
It led him to breaking the heart of someone who he didn't want to deny.
There was a lot of penance to pay for what Lighter did. A long line of people who had every right to punch him in the face. Opening up to Maxima is the least he can do, even if it was still hard.]
The way that worked for me is... you set orphans up in child care centers, usually ones that don't have enough hands or cash for as many kids that are there. Some people sign on as foster parents to take in one or more kids from those centers to take care of. Maybe get adopted down the line if you're lucky.
I wasn't.
[He's tense, and there's a bitterness at the edge of his tone.]
I got moved around a lot between families. It seems I was too much of a troublemaker for a lot of the parents to handle. Rika's mom didn't wanna take me in either. So all I had was one family for maybe a year or two before they sent me off. I couldn't even stay with the ones I liked. Something made it so I had to go to another family. Then another... over and over again until I aged out of the system at 18.
[...]
I was the only consistent thread. It had to be something I was doing to screw up any long term stay.
I thought I would screw it up again, but I know I like it here. It was a lot going on in my head, so I skipped town after the job was done to try and get my head on straight.
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no subject
[Everyone has been... of course they have. Even if they weren't worried, they were rightfully angry with him. He made so many promises. To Harumasa, to Mockingbird...
to Belle.
Only for a moment of fear to completely cloud his judgment.
Part of him was glad, though. That Maxima admitted that he, personally, was upset and scared. That Maxima thought he had done something wrong or thought Lighter would just throw it all away like that. It made his response come out so abruptly it was borderline defensive.]
No... Masi, no that's not... [The nickname slipped out. And Lighter was aware of it this time. But he would roll with it for now and ask in a moment if the man even wanted to be called that. Nevertheless, a weak hand came to his cheek.]
It wasn't you. You didn't do anything that'd make me want to throw you to the wind. I...
[His feeling for Maxima were a factor of sorts. But it was nothing Maxima himself did, or anyone else. He dropped his hand, pausing to try and find the right words.]
I told you, right? About what happened to my parents when I was a kid?
[He's going somewhere with this, but he had to be reminded of what Maxima knew.]
no subject
He hadn't allowed himself to be close enough to people for nicknames in far too long.
But hearing the reassurance did settle something down inside him, as did the promise of some kind of explanation for why Lighter had run so abruptly. He nodded, listening solemnly.]
You mentioned they were killed in some sort of violent confrontation, and that you'd been raised as a foster child afterward.
[Not that he entirely understood what the latter part of that implied, in this world.]
no subject
[He's remembering now. And hesitating because of it. Lighter was laid back by nature but also incredibly closed off. Not necessarily setting himself on a pedestal like "the champion" but nevertheless keeping himself at a distance from others. He's kept that up and... it led him to run.
It led him to run and everyone to worry about him.
It led him to breaking the heart of someone who he didn't want to deny.
There was a lot of penance to pay for what Lighter did. A long line of people who had every right to punch him in the face. Opening up to Maxima is the least he can do, even if it was still hard.]
The way that worked for me is... you set orphans up in child care centers, usually ones that don't have enough hands or cash for as many kids that are there. Some people sign on as foster parents to take in one or more kids from those centers to take care of. Maybe get adopted down the line if you're lucky.
I wasn't.
[He's tense, and there's a bitterness at the edge of his tone.]
I got moved around a lot between families. It seems I was too much of a troublemaker for a lot of the parents to handle. Rika's mom didn't wanna take me in either. So all I had was one family for maybe a year or two before they sent me off. I couldn't even stay with the ones I liked. Something made it so I had to go to another family. Then another... over and over again until I aged out of the system at 18.
[...]
I was the only consistent thread. It had to be something I was doing to screw up any long term stay.
I thought I would screw it up again, but I know I like it here. It was a lot going on in my head, so I skipped town after the job was done to try and get my head on straight.